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Joke of the Day

"A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked ""I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."""

"What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions? Spocrates."

"A groom raises his glass to toast his wife on their wedding day I've finally found a perfect girl i could not ask for more she's deaf and dumb and over sexed and owns a liquor store."

"What's big, green, fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'."

"volcano = glory hole for the Gods"

"Imagine getting the girl of your dreams phone number and her first text to you she spells it ""definately"""

"Naming yo dick 'Pain' for emo chicks cuz they are suckers for pain..."

"Coffee is so addicted to me, it can't wait to get in my belly. In its defense, my belly is awesome."

"Love is not a game. If you think it is, then you're not playing it right."