199538

Joke of the Day

"Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep the beet."

"Where does Kylie buy her kebabs? From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)"

"Q: How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb? A: We'll never know, Tesla was murdered."

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"Scientists finally discovered how an elephant trumpets. Maybe now they can get back to curing cancer..."

"the other day, I got into a car accident. A midget got out of the other car and said ""I'm not happy!"" I said ""Well, than which one are you?"""

"What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden engine? It wooden go"

"How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping? They SETI their alarm-y"

"Guys, Trump isn't Hitler... ...because Hitler actually won the popular vote."

"A man gets a $5 hooker a man gets a hooker for $5 and get crabs. the next day he goes back to her and tells her. she says "" what did you expect for $5, lobster?"""