199530

Joke of the Day

"From my son: What did the hippopotamus do to the magician? He hippo-tized him!"

"You know what's funny about Asians? You don't know whether they're awake or asleep. ( )"

"After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate."

"Even though there's over 10 million people that play WOW, I've got a good feeling the username 'Sarah' isn't taken."

"What separates Humans from Animals? The Mediterranean Sea."

"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."

"*buys 8 first class tickets, fills all of them with infants and toddlers* Me, from way back in coach: *cups hands* SUCK IT RICH PEOPLE"

"Today's menu: 1 gallon of attitude, 3 cups of sarcasm, 2 tbsp of leave me the hell alone, and a generous cup of shut the f*ck up!"

"The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don't they use two?"

"What do you call a gay Jew? He-blew"