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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"It's so hot outside! I've been out here 10 minutes and I'm already wetter then Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards."

"My girlfriend called me a racist I said that's an awfully big word for a midget."

"I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl."

"call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't remember... Call her fat once and she will never forget. Thats because elephants never forget =)"

"What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face? A femijizm"

"ok guys the gofundme I set up to hire a hitman to kill me is already at 3x its goal you can stop contributing"

"K Wow! Congratulations! With that 0.1 seconds of your life you saved are you gonna go to Mauritius or Hawaii?"

"Homework. Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral."