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Joke of the Day

"Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !"

"You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?"

"[Auto-shop class] ""Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor even when it's in a van"" *raises hand* ""Or a truck"" *lowers hand*"

"Our topic today: Should we legalize monster trucks? We'll speak to monster truck expert Kevin, age 8. He believes they are ""cool and big."""

"Why did the guitar player get arrested Because he fingered a minor"

"How does the moon cut his hair? 'Eclipse it Thought it was relevant to today's eclipse..."

"*gives up seat on bus for an old lady* *whispers in her ear* ""This isn't over"""

"Doctor Doctor I'm boiling up! Just simmer down!"

"The dentist just said I need a crown, so I jumped up and yelled, ""I'm king of the dentists!"" The nitrous made it funny."

"locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other day. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger"