198969

Joke of the Day

"If ""the word impossible is not in your vocabulary"", you have a pretty limited vocabulary."

"If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that's changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money."

"Where does one drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"I'm modest, so when it comes to sex I don't like to toot my own horn"

"I made a really sexy gravy. It was saucy. I put a few raisins in it, but it started getting fruity."

"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."

"There was a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial."

"Just saw a dude catcall a woman with ""Nice heels, girl"" and his friend slapped him and said ""Those are knock offs, bro"""

"I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby"

"Somebody stole my mood ring... ...I don't know how I feel about that."