198675

Joke of the Day

"Buddy of mine asked what will happen if Trump got elected... I replied, ""There will be hell toupee"""

"At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer."

"Coworker: I need someone in the backfill position Brain: Do. Not. Say. Anything. Me: um hopefully you fill the gap soon Brain: oh dear"

"What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden? Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'"

"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead"

"There have been a lot of pro nazi posts on here lately Anne Frankly I'm sick of it"

"So I got these shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced it with but I have been tripping all day. s/o to my professor for telling this joke to me today and giving me a good laugh."

"What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair? Caesars."

"I have Alzheimer's AMA (Not sure if repost) Yes, this is a x-post from /r/circlejerk, but still a pretty good joke in my opinion."

"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The Head Nurse."