198557

Joke of the Day

"[loud bar] Her: I have to urinate Me: What? H: Urinate M: What? H: URINATE! M: Well, YOU'RE a 10! H: Huh? No! You're like a 5. I gotta pee."

"What did the suicide bomb instructor say to his class? Now pay attention, I'm only going to do this once?"

"I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works."

"Why does China have such a large population??? Because their condoms were Made in China."

"Why is Jennie McCarthy so bad at RPG's? The last time her son had a healing potion he lost 15 IQ Points."

"Did you know, the cave where Jesus was resurrected... contained a large quantity of hydrating body lotion? He was moist-jew-rising."

"You gotta go for personality, guys.... They'll ALL look like grandma someday,,"

"""His and hers"" gifts are the thoughtful choice for any wedding. The division of property goes so much more smoothly."

"What religion do mosquitoes follow? Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. ^Sorry."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry potter can get out of a chamber"