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Joke of the Day

"Did anyone else think that... Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?"

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"The easiest way to get rid of a ghost is to ask him for some rent money or to help with the dishes"

"what does shrek say when he falls off a boat?? if you think the answer is ""ive gone ogreboard!!"" you are sick and twisted & need help"

"""GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE"" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much"

"My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house."

"What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Her hips."

"Sent out a mass text invite to my pity party & Autocorrect turned it into a pita party. Now I'm eating hummus with people I don't even like."

"10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1's and 0's 10) There are no 2's"

"Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to."