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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, could you lend me your chair? I'm fixing the table."" ""Sorry, son. I'm not feeling particularly chairitable today."""

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you."

"Why did Donald Duck break up with Daisy Duck? Turns out she was a quack whore."

"Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey had kids together... But the children were clones of Mr. Grey because he had all the dominant genes."

"Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed? because Santa came early! I'll let myself out."

"Man's wife was gone from home all day When she finally came back late in the day, her husband asked ""Where'v you been all day?"" ""At the beauty salon"" ""Were they closed!?"""

"Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again"

"What's the difference between an orange? One of them doesn't."

"I renamed my night club Viagra... It's been 4 hours and people are still cuming!"

"So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet.. She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!"