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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it."

"Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play. You don't do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor."

"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."

"Open the door ...... Ooen the door.... Open the door Odour"

"Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles? because Happy Hour ended."

"Studs put the stds in u."

"I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable."

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"What's the worst advice you could give an actor right before an audition? ""Just go in there and be yourself."""

"Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter. Saw this online, laughed a bit too much."