198090

Joke of the Day

"*Pulls up to drive-thru window* ""Extra toilet paper please"" Do you mean napkins? ""Sure, whatever"""

"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."

"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"

"Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Control + S"

"Yo momma so nasty... that flesh eating bacteria won't even eat her pussy."

"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?"

"How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw."

"So i found a new clickbait technique. So did you."

"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""