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Joke of the Day

"a 21st century Hitler would have Macklemore hair (the moustache was attempt to seem young & trendy) & he would call himself a ""race wonk"""

"Did do hear about the part of my house that died from a drug overdose? He was an attic"

"Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only 20% of the things that came out of her pussy were retarded. /r/imgoingtohellforthis ?"

"Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey."

"I don't see why people say, ""God, send me a sign"". Why not ask the Head of Amazon's shipping department?"

"The KKK adopted a higway Jokes on them, it's black"

"CHIPOTLE MANAGER: we can't figure out why these e.coli outbreaks keep happening ME: [bathing in a tub of salsa in the back] ya very weird"

"Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts? It's not my fault I'm blind."

"[wife gets home & sees shit on the rug] What's this? ""It was Rover he w.."" *dog makes throat slice gesture* ""It was me. I shit on the rug"""