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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a hand job? 9/11 was an inside job"

"New Neighbor: Hi, I'm Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I'm Spencer; I'll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices."

"Girl: So, how many inches is it? Pat: How many inches is what? G: You know.. P: Uhhh, about 200 dollars long. G: OMG, It's so big!"

"What causes the bird on a pirate's shoulder to repeat 'pieces of nine, pieces of seven, pieces of nine....'? Parity error."

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"Why don't landmines work on Africans? Because they aren't heavy enough to set it off"

"What do you call a Mexican on a bike? a dirt bike"

"My mom just put a pic on Facebook that says, ""Share if your daughter is beautiful AND smart."" She tagged my sister."

"Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear 1. exploding glove 2. ham sandwich 3. flaming fireplace 4. Dead bird helmet 6. shark eggs"

"""Let's bust this joint"" is the new tag line for the Artritis Support Group."