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Joke of the Day

"I have an Asian cat. Her name is Mi Yao."

"What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!"

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"Schrodinger: How's my cat, Doc? Vet: I have good news and bad news.."

"Guys with a small penis seem to overcompensate by being a huge dick."

"Did you hear about Lorena Bobbitt's car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"Sent him a pic and he replied ""BOOM!!"" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade."

"""Sorry my phone died"" -something I've said 5,326 times but it's never actually happened"

"TGIF - A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside ..."

"*looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*"