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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pizza and a prostitute? You can order one of them without mushrooms."

"Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam? He couldn't get the saddest fraction."

"How to turn your dishwasher into a snowblower. Hand her a shovel!"

"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"

"Reddit is too too mean to fat people. You guys really need to lay off. They already have enough on their plates."

"Is that gluten free? You mean Kosher for Passover, right?"

"The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I'm hoping there's gonna be a sniper."

"I spend 17% of my day wiping the fingerprints off my phone screen."

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar The bartender asked, ""why the long face?"""

"Why does The Little Mermaid wear seashells? Cuz she grew out of her B shell *im so sorry*"