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Joke of the Day

"[gets down on 1 knee] Babe will you-- ""Yeah... Here it is"" [she lends me her phone charger] Thanks"

"Why don't Donald Trump's fans care that his wife ripped off Michelle Obama's speech? Because none of them got to the point in school when they explained plagiarism is wrong"

"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships..."

"Pro Tip: I'm not a pro. Don't listen to my tips."

"Why is the Star Trek enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle your anus searching for cling-ons"

"Necrophillia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one"

"Unlike a Caterpillar, a whale won't turn into a beautiful butterfly."

"Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time"

"Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax."

"Don't blindfold an Asian with a shoe lace. That's lacist."