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Joke of the Day

"I'm not ""Mr Right"" but I'll do freaky stuff to you till he shows up."

"Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element."

"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute after they finished? ""Keep the tip."""

"I love playing catch with my dogs when I'm drunk, because I don't have dogs when I'm sober."

"What is a tampon's favorite food? Scrambled egg"

"What do you call an egg that cures cancer? A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son."

"Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

"Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle."

"I know what I am going to name my first yacht Z. I can't wait to be a dad"

"I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I'm a perfectionist.'"