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Joke of the Day

"My life is like a movie where two soulmates meet in line at the grocery store, except I'm the woman behind them buying tampons and cat food."

"Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail."

"Does England have a Fourth of July? They do, they just don't celebrate it."

"what was Michael Jackson favorite kind of movie child pornography"

"Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished."

"Me: *singing ""Don't stop believing""* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit"

"Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache? Because in between stroking it, he said ""hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."""

"My girlfriend might be a bit clingy, but she sure is going places... Like home. Go home."

"Have you heard about one direction? It looks they took different directions"

"What do you call an unfinished Tennis match? Wimble-not-don :D"