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Joke of the Day

"Jokes are all about delivery But I'm more of a DiGiorno guy"

"Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?"

"Opinions are like butts *gently rubs your opinion*"

"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, But when i got home all the signs were there."

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? The parents would love to know."

"I'm in so much debt... I could start a government."

"As a janitor, you wouldn't believe the shit I have to clean up. http://m.imgur.com/cjYphZQ"

"I'm not saying it is your fault, I said I'm blaming you."

"A recently fired stock trader said: ""This is worse than a divorce, I have lost everything and I still have my wife!"" "

"Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it."