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Joke of the Day

"Nothing beats the last 30 seconds of a close basketball game. They should just make all games 30 seconds long."

"How do you find Will Smith in the winter? You search for Fresh Prints."

"Did you hear about the gay Irish couple? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"Lesbian relationships The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer."

"Pots and pans set: $70. Wrapping paper: $5. Tape: $3. Watching your mother unbox and attempt to wrap said pots and pans: priceless."

"Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania."

"Wine improves with age. I improve with wine."

"If you cloned yourself, and then you become attracted to yourself and ended up having sex with your clone...does that make you gay, or are you just on the forefront of masturbation technology?"

"Good friends are like bottles of sweet wine .. that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar."

"What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food? Frito Layser."