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Joke of the Day

"Joke of The Day A new Student came to the class. After telling the rest of the Children his name, the teacher asked, ""what does your Father do""? . . . . . . Student :"" Whatever Mom Says"""

"What is black and knocking on the window from the inside? A baby in the oven."

"I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead"

"I got my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. I know it's not the greatest gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"Why do weathermen name hurricanes after women? Because when they come they're wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"Diarrhea is the #2 cause of death in the U.S."

"I need new jokes to write in people's birthday cards. The one I've been using for years is getting pretty stale: ""Happy Bird Day!"" Then I draw a bird. Thanks /r/jokes!"

"My 4yr old daughter just charged me $47 for a fake cake she cooked in her pretend oven. I laughed. ... She stared at me until I paid her."

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""

"Improvement One student to another: ""How are your English lessons coming along?"" ""Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."""