195066

Joke of the Day

"My recipe spilled over a little because I put baking soda in my chicken broth It wasn't a big soup rise"

"It's never EVER a good idea to fart during a 69. That's how they found me underneath their bed."

"I like my TVs like I like my women Curvy."

"Did you hear the joke about the jump-rope? Eh, let's skip it."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... (Self-Repost) ...One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there!""."

"I'm a really green person, but only because I hate the oceans."

"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."

"A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, ""Looks like Santa lost his temper again."""

"If I were Brian Cranston every day I'd drive to Jiffy Lube & say ""I dunno it just seems to be braking bad!"" Then we would laugh & do meth."

"What phrase describes both my personal life and how I feel about the /r/Ama-ggedon? Fuck /u/kn0thing"