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Joke of the Day

"Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred"

"What do you call a japanese homeless guy? Tokyo Drifter"

"I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up"

"A duckling joke Why do baby ducks walk softly? Because they can't walk, hardly."

"99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around... 127 little bugs in the code."

"This new digital camera says the shutter speed is so fast you can photograph a hummingbird's wings, or a woman with her mouth shut."

"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""

"Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries? Traitor Joe's."

"Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people."

"Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend"