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Joke of the Day

"Sex with mentally disabled ppl (okay for work) What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome? . . . Slow clap"

"How do you take a selfie with a goat?"

"Who was the world's first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand."

"Did you hear Monica Lewinsky became a republican? The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth"

"Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one."

"Insurance agent to would-be client: ""Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning give me a call then and let me know."

"I once dated a girl who got in a car accident and lost her whole left side. Shes all right now."

"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."

"I once watched a mime choke to death on a street corner and everyone applauded. For a couple of reasons."

"Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat ""so sorry so sorry"" and keep moving forward."