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Joke of the Day

"I was born with abnormally large arms.... ...the doctor said I was very humerus"

"A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night."

"What is Minion's favourite brand? Banana Republic~BA~NA~~NA~~~"

"What did the man ask the bush after being attacked by it? The man asked ""Why did you attack me?"" The bush replied ""I am bush."""

"Ebay is way to hard to use I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches."

"What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ? Stop crying and viper your nose !"

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? You take the 'S' out of Safe, and the 'F' out of Way."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut."

"I'm going to do my Christmas shopping in Missouri. I hear the deals are so hot the stores are practically on fire!"

"Bad religious joke I created. One day Jesus is talking to god and says, ""Hey dad, guess what I did today?"" God: ""What?"" Jesus: ""I walked on water."" God: ""No way."" Jesus: ""Yahweh!"" Badum, tss"