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Joke of the Day

"Google announced their plan to launch an application to challenge the popular ride sharing app, Uber. The new faction in Google's enterprise should be called, Goober."

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"9/11 gave rise to ""Truthers"", Obama gave rise to ""Birthers"", so... ... would a movement to determine whether Hillary Clinton actually carries hot sauce in her purse be called ""Saucers""?"
"[Destiny] Where do Year 1 Guardians buy their clothes? Twilight Gap *badum tsss*"
"What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building? Nothing if you're a gorilla."
"I'm gonna name my firstborn ""arial"" and people will be like ""oh like the mermaid"" and i'll say ""no like the font"""
"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year."
"How many germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nein"
"I'm hot blooded, check it & see/ I got a fever of 103/ why's everyone on the bus screaming/ maybe I shoulda wiped off the rectal thermometer"
"In case you were wondering, Taco Bell offers free wi-fi. Don't bother asking for the password, because it's totally ""Cornhole Explosion""."
"What's the pound's new name? The ounce"