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Joke of the Day

"I haven't been able to find my girlfriend for months, but I'll never forget the last thing she told me... She said ""I don't give blowjobs."" To be honest I haven't looked that hard."

"How many wiseguys does it take to change a lightbulb? Who's asking?"

"My doctor said i shouldn't just binge drink all weekend. I tried taking his advice but can't drink a bottle of Jack Daniels every day."

"A baby seal walked into a club ba dum tss"

"Hippies say the darndest things... What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job? Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)"

"They say 1 is the loneliest number, but I bet 0 is even lonelier. Not only is he a single digit; he's fat."

"Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled"

"What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard? Cold."

"How do skeletons make a baby? They bone"

"When I die, I hope it's doing something I hate. That way I'll be glad I'm dead."