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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock *Knock Knock.* Who's there? *This bagel is for.* This bagel is for who? *Whom. This bagel is for whom.*"

"There is only one house song. It's 38,000 minutes long."

"When someone says ""It is what it is,"" I reply, ""Isn't it?"" so we can both sound useless."

"Q: What do termites eat for breakfast? A: Oakmeal."

"During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, ""where should I put my Pants""?... ""Over there by mine"", was not the answer I was expecting."

"I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen."

"I was on a first date. ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say. Go on then."" she laughed. I said, ""0."""

"What's the difference between a chickpea and lintel? I've never had a lintel on my chest."

"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"

"A fish swam into a wall... and said ""dam!"""