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Joke of the Day

"What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner? Watson the menu"

"Why did the phone keep walking into the wall? It lost its contacts."

"At school he used to enjoy streaking. On it's own, not a particularly interesting fact, until you consider he was at an ALL BOYS boarding school."

"In a few weeks the keys to the worlds most important office will be handed over to Donald Trump. There is absolutely nothing funny about that. Figured this sub was a perfect place to post this."

"Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I'll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet"

"What's the worst part about having Alzheimer's? To get to the other side"

"When I was little, I remember falling asleep on the sofa and waking up in bed. Now that I'm older, I find myself passing out on the sofa and waking up on the floor."

"What are you people doing? making this crap up."

"The three of us have never been so insulted. My little brother told me ""YOUR mom is also MY mom!"""

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."