193796
Joke of the Day
"What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common? Both were shot before a live audience."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend kept saying she'd hit me if I didn't stop singing Haddaway's What is Love.... I said ""Baby, don't hurt me"""
"What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!"
"Three old guys are out walking... Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'"
"Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back? The mall is hiring new Santas."
"If I had a crystal ball that could see five years into the future... I would have 2020 vision."
"Women need security -when I'm around."
"What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites? A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P"
"will be tailgating outside the art museum tomorrow. needed: 6 people to paint their chests & help me spell out PICASSO"
"I hate grocery shopping. That's why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I'm getting, but it sure is faster."