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Joke of the Day

"Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights."

"I always wanted a trophy wife, But instead I got a participation medal girlfriend."

"Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? No, it's the C."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar And the bartender says ""I have a shot named after you"" The grasshopper replies ""you have a shot named Steve?!"" My bartender friend told me this, thought I should share"

"What do you call a crime-solving blender. Deducer"

"What do you call a Mexican vs a Mexican in basketball? Juan on Juan"

"What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!"

"From now on, when you see the word ""minimum"", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother."

"(NSFW) What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich. I Don't fuck my sandwich before I eat it."