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Joke of the Day

"I'm always sad when I see a homeless person or someone with a Blackberry."

"Having friends is like having a Porsche... I'd really like to have a Porsche."

"If at first you don't succeed... ...keep on sucking until you suck seed."

"How do you think the unthinkable? An Ithberg!"

"I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you."

"i did it God! i finaly got 2 of evry animal NOAH.THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE *noah looks at boat full of dead animals* do u kno how long this took"

"Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets."

"Advent calendars are fun if you ignore that every day is a new, fresh hell waiting to be survived."

"Whenever I hear an uninteresting 80 year old woman tell an uninteresting story I think, ""Wow, you must have been really hot."""

"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."