193417

Joke of the Day

"What's a redneck's favourite vegetable? Pump-kin."

"I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off it's hard"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, cops aren't afraid of the dark."

"In order to promote progress I think the next session of congress should be sent to the moon. I just feel that they would make a greater impact."

"What do pickles do to make themselves look more beautiful They get Vlasic surgery"

"You can't break an electric toothbrush If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush."

"""Daddy, do you like princesses?"" ""Yes."" ""Why?"" ""Well usually they have a nice set of ti-"" Wife: ""Shut it."" ""I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."""

"You know you spend way too much time on Twitter when your wife asks what you're doing online and ""porn"" is a better answer."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed... 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."

"What's an oven's favorite comedy routine? Deadpan."