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Joke of the Day
"*quietly tries to open a bag of chips during a bank robbery*"
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"[Starbucks intercom] ""Will the man that ordered the Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte please pick up your drink. No one is looking."""
"Where do Muslims go on a weekend? To Mecca Bingo."
"I'm not saying my wife's a fat,...... I'm not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch, but she's just cleaned the cooker with two fucking slices of bread."
"A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said 'It's no good you talking to me young man I'm stone deaf !'"
"""Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?"" ""He said it was too tight."""
"The difference between snowmen and snowwomen. Snowballs."
"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""
"My girlfriend hates when I correct her grammar. She's like ""What's with all the red pen marks in my diary?"""
"What's the first thing you install on a new computer? The operating system"