192811

Joke of the Day

"There are only two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device."

"What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service? A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)"

"A local man was arrested today for pouring Harpic all over the vicar. He's been charged with bleaching the priest."

"In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep."

"How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso."

"It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion."

"What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter ""D"" !"

"A police officer in Alabama finds... ...a black man with his arms and legs chopped off. He reports ""the worst case of suicide he's ever seen."""

"Only Christians will get this... Eternal life."