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Joke of the Day

"My wife says that we should keep the chocolate milk in the back of the fridge so it stays colder, but personally I just think she's racist"

"What do you get if you cross a rhino with an elephant? I don't know but it's not relevant."

"Have your tribal tattoo call my tramp stamp and let's make beautiful, douchey babies together."

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman knew his parents before they were shot."

"Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into twitter."

"If Love is like Chemistry. I am a noble gas."

"I had a serious talk with my girlfriend after she told me about her rape fantasy. It actually went pretty well too... Ending with me whispering in her ear, ""shut the fuck up or I cut you bitch"""

"My room is getting so messy ...that F.C. Barcelona is trying to recruit it"

"My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game"

"What is the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down someone's throat."