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Joke of the Day

"Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!"

"Trump gets elected president.. On inauguration day, he swears in as President. Before delivering his inauguration speech, he turns to Obama and says ""President Obama, You're Fired"""

"When Dracula went to the blood bank, he said: ""Do you deliver?"""

"How do you get Holy water? You boil the Hell out of it."

"A Bagpiper, a Kangeroo, an Irish poet, and Mother Theresa walk into a bar . . . . . . . the barman, who was drying a glass, lifted his head and asked, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Two Charles Dickens bar drinks Charles Dickens Martini- olive or twist Charles Dickens Cider- usually a little tart"

"A horse walks into a bar... And being a horse, and incapable of speech, he poops on the floor and walks out."

"I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load."

"What's the best thing about kids? Making them!!!"

"Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? They say he's a seasoned vet."