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Joke of the Day

"When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit."

"two apples enter a bar... ...then I got sued by Apple"

"Hey baby, Heaven must be missing an angle because you're kindacute."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out ""ANYBODY KNOW CPR"" I yelled back. ""I know the whole damm alphabet!"" Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy..."

"What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading? Crimea River."

"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say ""Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot""."

"replace the chair in the Oval Office w/slightly bigger chair every day for next 4 yrs til trump looks tiny + his feet don't touch the ground"

"What do you call the teacher who lost her baby? Miss Carriage"

"How did the hipster burn his fingertips? He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. [rimshot]"