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Joke of the Day

"What does a bee style his hair with? A honey comb!"

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"I ate an optimist once... But I couldn't keep him down."

"Last night a movie theater was robbed of $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal and a pack of skittles."

"Running out of space for your porn collection? Just download midget porn, it's half the size"

"Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell ""definitely."""

"Do I just call you or should we resolve this quickly with 200 text messages?"

"What did the black kid get on his SAT's? Barbeque sauce."

"Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive"

"A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."" ~~~ So he pays for his meal and asks for his change. The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, ""Change comes from within."""