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Joke of the Day

"I feel bad I punched that guy, but he shouldn't get so close to my punching bag. I should stop leaving my punching bag by my office door."

"Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money? He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup."

"The older I get, the more I relate to those angry elderly people who go around biting others."

"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"

"I had a dream I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram I was - like - 0MG."

"Why does SnoopDogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle!"

"Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car"

"It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again."

"What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity? Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes."

"Do you think Donald Trump get his hairpieces for free... ...or does he have toupee?"