192074

Joke of the Day

"You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days. They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket. It was a herd shot round the world."

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore. Raised a couple of red flags..."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is too young? you have to make aeroplane noises to stick you dick in her mouth!"

"What's the hardest part about roller-blading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Why do scuba-divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd fall back into the boat."

"If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer."

"[First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!"