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Joke of the Day

"Hey Chandler, wanna hang out with me, Phoebe and Monica later? We're going to the park to open and close umbrellas in a fountain."

"How does a Chinese family name their children? They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs."

"I like my women like i like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer."

"[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."

"[meeting to name the brownie] ""How about baked chocolate cake?"" ""Nah"" ""Yummy choccy bake?"" ""No"" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea..."

"Q: What's the difference between a cello and a violin? A: A cello burns longer."

"""So send me a picture of you..."" *sends* ""Look I need to leave very abruptly and extremely forever."""

"Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self.. Where the fuck is my roof??"

"""Half a dozen"" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<"