191934

Joke of the Day

"If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite."

"Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying ""Tick, tick, tick, tick,...""? ""Ve haff vays of meking you tock."""

"The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a ""Tweet"" to Mayweather . . . Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it."

"Who is the favorite author of someone addicted to ecstasy? Steven King. JK Rowling."

"Freud had it wrong, women don't have penis envy, men have boob envy. Explains the obesity epidemic and my need to breastfeed daily."

"Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house"

"*Nerdy guys phone rings* JOCK: ""Who was that, your girlfriend?"" *Everyone laughs* NERD: ""Nope. It was yours."" *Dead silence*"

"I once asked my friend from New Zealand to count how many girlfriends he's had Shortly after attempting to do so, he fell asleep."

"I don't get this joke. Can someone explain it to me? My sister's fiance is so short that he has trouble playing computer games. The only way he can reach the keyboard is if he lies flat on the ground."

"Who Shot JR ? by U Dunnit"