191903

Joke of the Day

"What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon? Mine's embalming fluid."

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."

"Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence."

"Why can't unicorns play soccer? Because they don't exist"

"So what do you say to an invisible man? Stand Clear."

"Bestiality is like prescription drugs... May cause internal bleeding, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, infection, diarrhea and in extreme cases, could be fatal."

"Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics Interviewer: Could you give me an example? Me: Yes I could"

"If you love something set it on fire. If it doesn't die, you have a dragon."

"The next time I see a feminist say ""Kill all men""... I'll just reply ""Valar dohaeris""."

"Have you heard the one about the deaf guy? He hasn't either."