191893

Joke of the Day

"If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office."

"How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him/her to pronounce unionized Edit: Gets 3000+ upvotes, Karma remains at 20..."

"Sorry I got us kicked out of your niece's dance recital for blowing my airhorn too much"

"Me: If you take them out of their natural habitat they seek revenge by burning your tounge Sis: M: S: That's a pizza roll. You're high"

"[Me chasing 12 greyhounds round a race track] YOU'LL GET TIRED EVENTUALLY. THEN I WILL PET YOU!"

"Q: What do you call the hair of a centaur? A: Humane."

"Some call me an alcoholic, But I call myself an antisocial drinker"

"What was the last thing Arnold Schwarzenegger said before he was eaten by cannibals? ""I'll be snack."""

"How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house."

"How can complex numbers be real if i's not real?"