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Joke of the Day

"Way too young My friend just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous."

"I'm not comfortable with the fact that there's a skeleton inside me."

"Me: Not to be racist but you look like you're sick Her: How was that racist? Me: I said ""not to be racist"" you must be sicker than I thought"

"A man was found dead in an ice cream van covered in nuts and sprinkles Police say he topped himself"

"I get so excited every time I see an armored car but then, guess what, no heist."

"What does Yao Ming stand for? When he sits down it takes too long to get back up."

"My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up"

"Ladies: If he's right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys."

"I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"The fast food restaurant for babies. ""Welcome to Gerber King, may I take your order?"""