191310

Joke of the Day

"What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe."

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza? He ate it before it was cool."

"*rolls up sleeves* *gets high on sleeves*"

"Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run for president ""I will not vote for Hillary,"" she said. ""The last Clinton president left a bad taste in my mouth."""

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"When it comes to girls with low self-esteem... guys always go for the low hanging fruit because they are easy pickings."

"How can you tell if a pedophile is happy? He has a peda-smile."

"I haven't spoken to my girlfriend in months. I don't want to interrupt her."

"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"