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Joke of the Day

"*sees a hot girl on the train* ""ay gurl check this out"" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*"

"Q: When is an outlaw neither left-handed nor right-handed? A: When he's red-handed."

"What do you call a Mexican Buddhist? Om-bre"

"TIL there are a lot of #1 rules for being a prostitute"

"What's the best way to dispose of bodies? Put the ashes in the donuts."

"One day, someone is going to hold you so tight, that all of your broken pieces fit back together."

"How i made my computer run faster... I painted it black."

"I think I have a medicine fetish. I get a boner when i take Viagra."

"The new Battlefield 1 looks so damn good, you could say... They just knocked Call of Duty into space."

"[The Beatles writing Here Comes The Sun] Paul: so what should come after here comes the sun? [Ringo screams from bathroom]: Doo Doo, Doo Doo"