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Joke of the Day
"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you told me you're gay...."
Next Joke
"what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom"
"What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"Tiger, Lance and Tom walk into a cold bar... ""Heaters,"" the bartender cries in frustration, ""I told him to send me heaters!"""
"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball? 2^nd base."
"Islam means peace! Stop means go, up means down, left means right."
"Stop it guys, there's no such thing as Canadian English. We just say ""free healthcare"" more and ""supersized"" less."
"Who is modern fiction's most notorious serial killer? George R. R. Martin."
"Want to depress yourself? Realize that someday Tom Hanks will die. Want to cheer yourself up? Remember that right now, Tom Hanks is alive."
"I was in bed with a girl and she said to me, ""I want you to make me scream"". So I said, ""OK. I'll just go outside, put on a ski mask and then kick your front door in. That usually works."""